square-irresistible-zipper-blouse-1

One If By Land, Two If By Sea

 
Before I dive in (metaphorically speaking) . . .
 
Did one of you see me downtown last Friday? I was standing at the corner of 9th and H, trying to decide which side of the street would provide more shade on my way back to the office, and a woman (a well-dressed woman!) passed me on the sidewalk and said “I love your bag” — but after she was gone it occurred to me that she said “I love your blog” (thrilling!) and not “bag” (gratifying, though not thrilling). Unfortunately, I was listening to music and therefore am not sure. So if you are one half of this encounter (1) THANK YOU! and (2) please drop me a line.
 
And now on to business . . .

 
 
You know how I am all about multipurpose (an adjective) and utility (a noun)? Yet I love dresses, which typically don’t have multiple uses. For those of you trying to think of counter-factual examples, I wouldn’t cite DoP as evidence of multipurpose suitability because I generally don’t wear dresses that I do wear as dresses over pants (DoP), if you can follow my reasoning through that embedded clause.
 
Imagine my excitement when I read that this dress was made of neoprene, more commonly known as scuba fabric.
Full length

Warranted to go 80 feet underwater


side view

I haven’t left land and I need to decompress

 
 
 
One would like to think that you could do anything to scuba fabric (sample: dump a Caesar salad in your lap) without consequence, but I have a feeling that that’s not so.
 
Regardless, this dress is very comfortable.

 
 
The Photographer has asked me to tell you that he is NAUI Openwater I-certified. A man of many talents!
 
Did you know that “scuba” is an acronym: Self Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus?
 
Please take a few seconds to note the seams that shape the dress to the right and below. In case you are thinking that the dress is ill-fitting, be assured — the fabric has presence and a measure of self-determination, and therefore the designer has allowed it some discretion in taking shape.
up close

You don’t have to take notes, just note


I think we need Directrice360™ to fully display the zipper on this dress, which winds the whole way around the body.
 
Rotating

I am rotating to my right

Revolving

The zipper is circumnavigating me from the opposite direction

Turning

If we — Zipper and I, keep this up, will we — at some point — stop time?


 
 
I like high necklines and this zipper allows me to zip up to my neck.
zipped

Zipped


 
 
But someone who likes to show a little skin certainly could do so.
unzipped

Unzipped


 
 
As you can see the zipper runs all the way around the neckline. At some point, it’s clearly decorative.
road to nowhere

Zipper to nowhere


Dress: Jil Sander Avenue Sleeveless Jersey Dress (on sale at Neiman Marcus; just a hunch, but I bet more sizes show up over the winter and on YOOX, too); Shoes: Tory Burch; Bag: Coach; Watch: Michele

13 thoughts on “One If By Land, Two If By Sea

  1. Such a charming dress, and such charming writing. What a wonderful way to great the day on the Monday morning! Directrice, a question, if I might ask: why do you prefer high necklines? Its hard to tell, but you don’t seem to have an (inordinately) long neck that would require a higher neckline. Is is question of looking professional?

    PS: While the Photographer is indeed a man of many talents, we particularly enjoy his photographic skills. Thank you, Photographer!

    • Your question is an excellent one, and requires a little introspection. Two reasons. First, I tend to think it’s better to err on the side of covered-up in an office setting. I also like that severe aesthetic. Say what you will, the Puritans had a look. Second, I believe that a close fitting, round neckline flatters my face. (I also love turtlenecks.) Since my face is quite round, I may be quite wrong about this.

    • Dear Rhizophora, thank you very much for the nice words. It’s been a great pleasure to develop photographic skills for this blog. Before The Directrice started it, I’d never used anything more sophisticated than those little pocket Canon cameras.

  2. I am in love with neoprene! It’s the gabardine of 2016! It helps hide any imperfections – this fabric is so kind. I have a floral skinny pant in neoprene that gets worn way more often than I thought possible.

    • Neoprene is weirdly generous, isn’t it? I thought it would be unforgiving — like spandex — but it’s quite the opposite.

  3. What a becoming dress. I did not know that the material you are describing could be made into attractive clothing. How great if caught out in a sudden rain storm. I did not know what Scuba stood for or that the Photographer held such a designation. It’s all good.

  4. It wasn’t me this time, but I have seen you downtown before and very much wanted to compliment the blog! Unfortunately I was exiting a building for a coffee with job interviewers in tow so the timing was wrong.
    But your blog has certainly encouraged me to take more risks with my workwear and given excellent guidance what those risks should be (mixing colors boldly, more interesting cuts that aren’t strictly “flattering” but are still appropriate and still look good, and fun prints). All things that make getting dressed much more fun without undermining a professional look, so genuine thanks that I have been meaning to pass on.

    • First, Jennifer, I am so delighted to read that you read this blog in the exact spirit that I write it. Since we have to get dressed for work, we might as well have a little fun doing so! I hope our paths cross again when you are unencumbered — do stop me to say hello.

  5. Yes! I was the blog reader at the corner of 9th and H, and was so delighted to see you in real life, having long admired your style and your wit on the blog, especially as a fellow attorney. Thanks for inspiring us with your posts!

  6. Yeah! I’m vicariously excited for the Directice to hear that the well-dressed woman said love your blog, not love your bag!

But what do you think?